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6/7/2007: I am in discernment with a Franciscan community that I hope to enter, once I've finished school and have paid off my loans. When I felt it was time to share with my parents, they felt very concerned for several reasons, but we have maintained a fairly open dialogue, and they seem to be a little less worried. They still don't support it, but with time and many, many prayers, they seem to be mellowing bit by bit. I'm wondering if there might be any articles or pamphlets or books that they could read, to provide extra support and reassurance...perhaps from other parents, or from people who understand what they might be going through. It is so hard for them, especially since I'm their only daughter.

Last year, National Catholic Register ran a wonderful article on this very topic.  You can read it online at http://ncregister.com/info/vocation_guide_2006/   In this article you will find links to a few other resources, as well as some wonderful and practical advice.  Hopefully this will be helpful for your parents. 

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5/8/2007: What opportunities are available for older women (like myself, women over 50) who have had successful secular "first" careers and still feel a call to the religious life?

Thank you for your question.  First, a bit of clarification is needed in your situation.  There is difference between a career and a vocation. We refer to Holy Orders and Matrimony as the sacraments of vocation, a word that comes from the Latin for “call.” All are all called by God throughout our lives to holiness, to live in an intimate communion with God through Jesus Christ.  This relationship with God comes through prayer and God's grace.  God's grace is experienced through the seven sacraments and is given to us as we begin our life of faith in very concrete ways...  through our Baptism, Confirmation, and Holy Eucharist.

Concerning your vocation...  many factors besides one’s age are considered and many religious orders judge each person on an individual basis. The older the person the more concerns a religious order will have about overall health, family situation, medical/health insurance coverage, retirement benefits, and length of expected ministry.

There are Orders that accept 'belated' vocations.  Typically the ages for entering an Order are between 18 and 35.  Some of the Orders that do accept belated vocations will have some sort of age limit above that (for ex: 55 years of age).  You can check out the specifics on the vocation search located on the Institute of Religious Life website: www.religiouslife.com  The Lord does indeed call when He will...and for some it is later in life.  However sometimes the call to holiness can be confused with the call to a religious vocation.  This is something that can be better assessed by those who know you, most particularly a spiritual director. 

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4/22/2007:  Might there be a religious order for women that accept vocations with impediments?

Without knowing the degree or nature of your "impediments" we cannot be sure that a particular community might not take your situation into consideration.  However, the normal requirements for entrance into a religious community include 1) Good physical and psychological health.  2) Single, between the age of 18 and 35.  3) A high school diploma.  4) In good Catholic standing.  5)  Debt free.

 The only way to know for sure whether a community will accept you is to contact to one to which you feel drawn and lay your particular state of health, finances, etc. out to the vocation directress.  Knowing and understanding that God does not make His will impossible for you to attain, their decision on your vocation will be the Lord speaking to you.  But if this door closes, do not loose heart.  If your impediments would be an obstacle for your entrance into a religious community, know that you still have a very important call....which is the universal call to holiness.  And this call to holiness is essential to the building up of the Body of Christ.  Be assured of our prayers as you discern God's will for your life.

 Presuming your impediment is a physical handicap of some sort, here are two websites for communities who consider women with such handicaps.  We hope they are helpful.

 The Sisters of the Lamb of God: http://www.sistersofthelambofgod.org/index.html 

 Congregation of Jesus Crucified: http://www.benedictinesjc.org/index.html

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4/22/2007: Just lately my sister and I went to Rhode Island for a discernment week of retreat with the Consecrated women. I did not mind the way that their lives are lived but the religious habit and cloistered life is more appealing to me.  I'm interested in going to check out the life of the Poor Clares of Perpetual Adoration and I was wondering if you have any suggestions.  Thanks and God bless.    <><

We are very happy to hear that you are so open to God’s will in your life.  We have several suggestions as you continue your discernment, the first of which would be prayer.  Continue to pray and draw close to our Lord, particularly through the Sacraments.  In this way you will receive grace to know God’s will for your life and, ultimately when the time is right, the strength to do it.  The second suggestion would be to speak to a spiritual director about your vocation.  It is always very helpful to receive guidance from a priest or a competent director while discerning.  And our third suggestion would be to contact the vocation director for the Order to which you feel drawn.  Remember contacting a community entails no commitments.  But the initial stages of inquiry will help you better understand the Order’s way of life and to discern whether God is in fact calling you to this vocation.  Click here to contact the Vocation Directress for the Poor Clares of Perpetual Adoration in Arizona: vocations@desertnuns.com

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The only way for you to find out if the Religious Life is for you or not, if it is a possibility, if God is calling you...is to take that first step.  Begin actively discerning your vocation, by looking into some Orders that interest you.  Contact the vocation directress for a given order, and allow them to help you along the path of discernment.  By sincerely seeking God's Will...going out on the limb of faith...you will find peace.  Pray for the grace to know what the Lord is asking, to accept it, and to follow this path unreservedly.  You will be in our prayers!

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First to address your initial concern about the seeming contradiction in your desires.  It is very true that often times the desire to be consecrated to God and the desire to be married are 'mingled' in our heart.  That is where the discernment process comes in handy.  Sorting through such desires with a spiritual director can be of great benefit.  Either way, whichever path you choose, you state that there is a 'contrary leaning'.  And that is very natural.  Marriage is natural, as is loving God and desiring to serve Him.  What you need to discern - in prayer and under the guidance and a director - is which of these desires is the Will of God for you.  Our Lord has a plan for you and desires for you.  Pray in earnest for the courage to follow His Plan, whatever that may entail.

Secondly, regarding physical hindrances to entrance, yes it is true that a certain degree of physical health is required.  However having arthritis does not automatically prevent you from pursuing Religious Life.  My advice would be for you to be very open and honest with the vocation directress of a given Community regarding this issue.  With full knowledge of your condition, then she can better judge if this would be a hindrance or not.  Remember that no one is in perfect health, nor do they come into the convent at the peak of perfection.  The Lord calls Whom He wills.  If you feel a leaning to the Religious Life, don't allow fears to prevent you from at least inquiring further about it. 

The first thing to do is to entrust your vocation and your family to Jesus, Mary, and St. Joseph.  Pray for your family - ask the Lord to give them light and peace regarding your vocational discernment.  Allow your example to be a witness to them of the validity of the vocation you are pursuing.  St. Francis of Assisi once said, 'Preach always.  Use words when necessary.'  By this simple saying, we see the import of good example.  As your family sees you more joyful and resolute, humble and sincere, then perhaps their hearts will be more open to hearing about the beauties of the Religious Life.  Be attentive for an opportunity to discuss your desires with your family - it takes courage to communicate...with love...in the face of a seeming lack of understanding. 

Sometimes, though, despite all of our prayers and efforts, some hearts may remain closed.   And that's when we need to continue following the Lord with trust and abandonment.  Don't be discouraged by this lack of understanding or 'persecution'.  Try to see the Lord's hand in all of it.  Such trials will help you to look more deeply into your own motives for following the Lord.  In an effort to present your vocation in the proper light to your family, you yourself will grow in your appreciation and knowledge of it.

An 'active contemplative' Order would not be cloistered like a strictly contemplative order.  It would, however, have a more rigorous conventual life than a purely active Order.  It is, as it's name suggest, a combination of elements of both the active and contemplative life. 

Yes, there are some active orders that do allow their members to finish their degrees.  Since each Order has different ways of handling such matters, so it is good to discuss this with vocation directress of a given Order.

Typically, the term 'Sister' is used for active Order consecrated women religious.  The term 'nun' is used for those women religious who live a contemplative, cloistered life.

Thank you for your question. Without knowing more about what is involved in the care of your mother, one could argue that you should consider postponing a vocation to the religious life right now.  It sounds like your mother needs you.  You thoughts, prayers, and presence in her life may take up much of your time and energy.... truly and noble and holy cause.  With so much time and attention needed in caring for a loved one, it can be difficult to devote yourself to all that is required in discerning a vocation to the religious life.  All that being said, it could be helpful for you to honestly consider the amount of time and energy that is needed in the care of your mother.  All priests, deacons, and religious had a mother at one time and many had to grapple with this exact question.  There is an answer and it will be revealed as you are able to give yourself more completely to God.  Trust in Him and all will be well.

Thank you for your question.  Yes, there are Orders that accept 'belated' vocations.  Typically the ages for entering an Order are between 18 and 35.  Some of the Orders that do accept belated vocations will have some sort of age limit above that (for ex: 55 years of age).  You can check out the specifics on the vocation search located on the Institute of Religious Life website: www.religiouslife.com  The Lord does indeed call when He will...and for some it is later in life.  However sometimes the call to holiness can be confused with the call to a religious vocation.  This is something that can be better assessed by those who know you, most particularly a spiritual director. 

Thank you for your question.  And congratulations on your preparations to enter the Catholic Church!  As far as a dowry, for the Poor Clares this is not necessary.  However, according to Canon Law, before entering the Religious Life, it is necessary to have been a Catholic for at least 18 months.  However, in the meantime, it is good to learn more about different Orders and about the Religious Life in general.  God bless you on this discernment journey

10/10/06: I have a desire or a lingering thought to become a Sister for as long as I can remember, I seem to be particularly attracted to the idea of a cloistered community, and one that wears a habit - is this a real vocation? Please help me

Thank you for your question.  First of all, we rejoice that you are discerning your vocation and are open to a vocation to the Religious Life.  You never want to let such a desire just "linger" - rather, you want to look into the possibilities, pray, contact Communities, and visit them.  Remember that looking into a Community does not entail any commitment.  Our suggestion, then, would be for your to contact some cloistered communities with your specific questions, concerns, etc. 

In the Diocese of Phoenix, we have one cloistered contemplative community of nuns: The Poor Clares of Perpetual Adoration.  Check out their website ( www.desertnuns.com ) and, if you feel drawn to their way of life, contact the Vocation Directress.  Another great place to find good, solid, 'habited' Religious, is to check out: www.religiouslife.com  They have a comprehensive vocation search for cloistered orders. 

As far as your question about the cloistered life being a 'real vocation'...our answer is simple: most certainly YES it is.  As St. Therese said so well, her vocation as a contemplative was a vocation to be at the very heart of the Church...making reparation to our good God and spending oneself for the salvation of souls.  A great document to read about the cloistered life and the value and significance of this vocation is Verbi Sponsa

Here are some things that you might want to consider in choosing a spiritual director.  First, a good spiritual director should have proper training and adequate credentials for the work.  Your time is valuable and your desire to take the time to work on your relationship with God is certainly commendable and worth your effort.  You deserve someone who can be open and honest with you about the things that pertain to spiritual growth.  If you are looking for therapy, then spiritual direction is the wrong place for you.  Look for someone who is spiritually mature and seeking to grow in personal holiness.  A good spiritual director would have a sincere love for Eucharist and a strong devotion the Blessed Virgin Mary and the saints.  A good spiritual director will also be rooted in Sacred Scripture. Lastly, they should be someone who thinks with the Church… that is, they should be someone who knows the Church’s teaching on various issues and supports them.  Often times, a good spiritual director will assist you in acquiring the skills of spiritual discernment as well as help you to recognize God’s presence in your life

10/3/2006: If separated but married in the past with one child, is there any Orders to consider....I hear about some priests who were married in the past?

Thanks for the excellent question.  Without knowing more of the details, my initial answer would be no.  Before considering the Religious Life, an annulment is necessary.  If that is obtained, there is still the question of your responsibilities as a parent. 

There is always the option of joining a Third Order, which allows you to participate in the spiritual benefits of a given Order and profess promises  according to your state in life.  In will not interfere with your responsibilities as a parent.